Saturday, 10 January 2009

Flu invasion: end the madness now

This is the mugshot of the little bastid that’s been ravaging my body for the past few days.

At first I wasn’t sure if it was a nasty cold or the beginnings of the flu that's been doing the rounds but the symptoms seem to indicate an invasion of the the latter. Armed with their F-16s and Apache helicopters, these fuckas are launching white phosphorous bombs and taking out my lung-lining like it’s Lucy Pinder. All I’m armed with is some poor wee scillia doing their feeble best to expel the infection but getting mashed by the superior firepower of the aggressor virus, the nasty, nippy, little overblown emissaries of pain.

Thursday was the worst. I was faint, hallucinating (quite nice, actually), delirious, bronchitic, shivering, aching all over and unable to sit upright.

I’ve been in bed dosing with Lemsip and snuggling up to hot-water bottles (hello, rubber!) to burn out the fever. Heating’s turned up despite the punishing cost of staying warm now that our utilities are all owned by Big Business (thanks Tory John Major and New Labour!!!)

Today I'm feeling a bit better, thanks for asking. Unfortunately, it's probably the variety that makes you think it’s gone and you're on the road to recovery. Then it returns bringing all its friends and has a party in your twitching corpse.

Blogger-on-the-spot Harpy Marx just texted me at 13:40 to say there were 100,000 on today's march in London.

10 comments: said...

I've had one for for weeks now and it's still not showing any signs of going away. Gah. My commiserations to you and solidarity with the heroic resistance.

Madam Miaow said...

That happened to me last year, CS. Are you drinking lots and making yourself warmer than usual? I was surprised at how comforting the Lemsip was.

Some nice chicken noodle soup is what the world needs right now.

Renegade Eye said...

You are not one of those people who don't take flu vaccine?

Madam Miaow said...

I should, I suppose. We only tend do this in the UK if old or with a history of respiratory problems. Is it usual in the states?

DAVE BONES said...

Strangely enough the Daily Mail say 100 000 too. Was certianly shit loads of people considering it was snowing.

Cat said...

I would prescribe throughout the winter months to stave off colds and flus - golden seal tincture, zinc, vitamin c, garlic oil and echinacea. As soon as you feel a twinge garggle with a Rosemary & Thyme infusion. Put rosemary & thyme (a good bunch of it) in hot water then let water cool down until cold then gargle. If that does not work - use myrrh tincture to gargle with every morning and night. So far I have not had the cold or flu despite my asthma being bad. I also try to have a raspberry smoothie every day - frozen ones not fresh ones from Israel!

Lots of honey, ginger and lemon drinks too,

Poor you, hope you better soon.

Madam Miaow said...

Hi Cat,

Yes, zinc and vit C absolutely. I also make sure I'm using those expensive multvitamins that have been decorating my fridge interior for months.

Haven't tried the gargles yet.

I'm feeling much better, thanks, apart from lung mung which I have to cough up with my guts a couple of times every hour. Most attractive. Try it in your underwear (thermals) and watch the twinkle return to your man's eyes.Grrr!

Cat said...

With your beautiful speaking voice I think you should have myhrr in the house, it is very good for any throat or mouth problems been used for thousands of years as an antiseptic, why even the wise men gave it as a gift to the baby jesus, or so the story goes.

Madam Miaow said...

Cheers, Cat. I used to like the smell of Frankincense essential oil and vaguely remember Myrrh. I shall pick up a bottle of tincture on your recommendation.

BTW, watching Big Brother and shocked at how slow-witted and dull certain parties are. Plus an unfortunate habit of sucking up to alpha males and doing over the women — keeping them in their place, while making excuses for the males — that is most disappointing. And yet, strangely, not surprising.

Cat said...

Not surprised at all, he is just being him. Sadly due to sub judice I won't say anything more.

But yes get some tincture you will thank me for it.