Wednesday, 21 April 2010
Katia eruption "10 times easier to pronounce than Eyjafjallajokull"
A bigger eruption from the easier-to-pronounce Katia volcano promises to bring relief to media announcers world-wide. The chaos of the past week, where TV and radio announcers struggled to say, "Eyjafjallajokull", reduced some to tears, although they insisted it was the microscopic shards of airborne glass ripping up their corneas and not professional shame that made them cry.
Katia erupts every 80 years, or whenever she's sufficiently disgusted with the human race to let them know how she feels. Unable to articulate the words, "You make me sick", she belches out her message in Geologese: in this instance her herald Eyjafjallajokul grounding politicians from all three main parties in her attempt to stop them polluting the atmosphere with the standard output of untruths.
A perfect storm of political betrayal of the electorate, corporate trashing of society, and the brutish crushing of the BA workforce is thought to be stoking up Katia to settle our hash with her ash.
Moves to offer BA boss Willie Walsh as a sacrifice to the goddess of the first, smaller and more tongue-tying volcano were thwarted by Walsh's pre-emptive ash-cloud offering of 26 flights packed with British passengers today.
Willie Walsh is a wanker. Alliteratively.