Monday, 2 May 2011
Rejoice! The Wicked Witch is dead and America can go back to being nice: Obama offs Osama
So, Obama finishes his hilarious speech at the White House Correspondents' Dinner by throwing down the head of Osama Bin Laden, saying, 'Beat that, Donald'.
The Mother of All Prizes, Osama Bin Laden, has been killed by Amurkin troops on this royal wedding weekend, ten years after 9/11.
Following a massive intelligence effort, he was discovered in Abbottabad, 35 miles north of Islamabad in Pakistan, living with his family in a mega-frakk-off three-story compound cleverly camouflaged by 18 foot walls, hidden among huts in an area populated by goatherds. No subterranean bunker in the mountains, then, living on leaves, lizards and bugs.
Reports say that, this time, no civilians were killed by US Special Forces in keeping with allied custom that includes no arrest, no trial, no witnesses 'in the pursuit of justice'. But there will be T-shirts.
His body was buried at sea 'in accordance with Islamic law and traditions'.
Now that the arch-villain of SPECTRE has been nixed, America can go back to being lovely and sweet and a force for good. Allied troops can leave Afghanistan, Libya and all points Middle East, safe in the knowledge that order has been restored and all is right with the world.
For life ain't a tea-party, even if they do now contort themselves to find reasons why this proves Obama done a Bad Thing, which is rich, considering.
And, with that, Donald Trump and Sarah Palin's political careers can be declared as dead in the water as an Al Qaeda leader.
Already the detractors are questioning whether Osama really is dead. Cynics! Photoshop could figure. [UPDATE: that pic has apparently been around for a couple of years and has already been judged inauthentic.]
Danny Baker with an exclusive: @prodnose
LATEST: US team that led raid on Bin Laden HQ: "Assimilation was key to gaining local trust".
Should Jackie Ashley's argument about international law and why targeting Gaddafi for assassination is wrong also apply to Osama Bin Laden?
Robert Fisk says Osama's death is 'pretty irrelevant'.