Katia eruption "10 times easier to pronounce than Eyjafjallajokull"

A bigger eruption from the easier-to-pronounce Katia volcano promises to bring relief to media announcers world-wide. The chaos of the past week, where TV and radio announcers struggled to say, "Eyjafjallajokull", reduced some to tears, although they insisted it was the microscopic shards of airborne glass ripping up their corneas and not professional shame that made them cry.

Katia erupts every 80 years, or whenever she's sufficiently disgusted with the human race to let them know how she feels. Unable to articulate the words, "You make me sick", she belches out her message in Geologese: in this instance her herald Eyjafjallajokul grounding politicians from all three main parties in her attempt to stop them polluting the atmosphere with the standard output of untruths.

A perfect storm of political betrayal of the electorate, corporate trashing of society, and the brutish crushing of the BA workforce is thought to be stoking up Katia to settle our hash with her ash.

Moves to offer BA boss Willie Walsh as a sacrifice to the goddess of the first, smaller and more tongue-tying volcano were thwarted by Walsh's pre-emptive ash-cloud offering of 26 flights packed with British passengers today.

Willie Walsh is a wanker. Alliteratively.

Katia eruption "10 times easier to pronounce than Eyjafjallajokull"

A bigger eruption from the easier-to-pronounce Katia volcano promises to bring relief to media announcers world-wide. The chaos of the past week, where TV and radio announcers struggled to say, "Eyjafjallajokull", reduced some to tears, although they insisted it was the microscopic shards of airborne glass ripping up their corneas and not professional shame that made them cry.

Katia erupts every 80 years, or whenever she's sufficiently disgusted with the human race to let them know how she feels. Unable to articulate the words, "You make me sick", she belches out her message in Geologese: in this instance her herald Eyjafjallajokul grounding politicians from all three main parties in her attempt to stop them polluting the atmosphere with the standard output of untruths.

A perfect storm of political betrayal of the electorate, corporate trashing of society, and the brutish crushing of the BA workforce is thought to be stoking up Katia to settle our hash with her ash.

Moves to offer BA boss Willie Walsh as a sacrifice to the goddess of the first, smaller and more tongue-tying volcano were thwarted by Walsh's pre-emptive ash-cloud offering of 26 flights packed with British passengers today.

Willie Walsh is a wanker. Alliteratively.

Mother Nature grounds main parties: if pigs could fly

Even Mother Nature hates them. Today's spectacular eruption in Iceland has sent giant plumes of ash headed for Old Blighty, shutting down airports and preventing the three main parties hitting Scotland for the general election campaign. Those Scots must have some powerful mojo. Respek!

The Guardian reports:

After the severe winter weather and the BA strikes, the UK is becoming fairly accustomed to flights being cancelled. However not even the most cynical of travellers could have predicted that planes would be grounded today due to a volcanic eruption in Iceland. Having lain dormant for almost 200 years until last month, the volcano beneath the Eyjafjallajokull glacier, 120 km east of Reykjavik, erupted spectacularly yesterday. ... Labour, the Lib Dems and the Tories, with all the main parties hurriedly trying to rearrange high profile visits from senior figures flying up from London. After the Lib Dems confirmed that a visit by Treasury spokesman Vince Cable to Edinburgh and Dunfermline had been scrapped, the defence secretary Bob Ainsworth had to cancel a visit to Rosyth dockyard to campaign for Labour's candidate and the Tories abandoned Ken Clarke's trip to the Borders.

May I ask how Ken Clarke still has a political career? This was the man who, as deputy chairman of British American Tobacco, aggressively promoted smoking to a new generation of Third World markets, including Chinese youth. Hey, Ken: smoking kills!

Come, Mother Nature. Do your stuff.

Read Harpy Marx on the Labour Manifesto: a fair kicking for the poor.

Mother Nature grounds main parties: if pigs could fly

Even Mother Nature hates them. Today's spectacular eruption in Iceland has sent giant plumes of ash headed for Old Blighty, shutting down airports and preventing the three main parties hitting Scotland for the general election campaign. Those Scots must have some powerful mojo. Respek!

The Guardian reports:

After the severe winter weather and the BA strikes, the UK is becoming fairly accustomed to flights being cancelled. However not even the most cynical of travellers could have predicted that planes would be grounded today due to a volcanic eruption in Iceland. Having lain dormant for almost 200 years until last month, the volcano beneath the Eyjafjallajokull glacier, 120 km east of Reykjavik, erupted spectacularly yesterday. ... Labour, the Lib Dems and the Tories, with all the main parties hurriedly trying to rearrange high profile visits from senior figures flying up from London. After the Lib Dems confirmed that a visit by Treasury spokesman Vince Cable to Edinburgh and Dunfermline had been scrapped, the defence secretary Bob Ainsworth had to cancel a visit to Rosyth dockyard to campaign for Labour's candidate and the Tories abandoned Ken Clarke's trip to the Borders.

May I ask how Ken Clarke still has a political career? This was the man who, as deputy chairman of British American Tobacco, aggressively promoted smoking to a new generation of Third World markets, including Chinese youth. Hey, Ken: smoking kills!

Come, Mother Nature. Do your stuff.

Read Harpy Marx on the Labour Manifesto: a fair kicking for the poor.