Austerity, economics and a sense of proportion ...

... instead we get lies, damned lies and government spin. A simple placard tells us what the forces of ehvul and their media wing don't want us to know.

St Tebbit and the dragon: Tory kicks child at Chinese New Year

Bah, humbug! Is this to be a new tradition inaugurated by the Tories and implemented in Barking councils across the land?

Oblivious to the customs of swarthy interlopers and unaware that the noisy hordes near his house in Bury St Edmonds in Suffolk were celebrating Chinese New Year, Conservative peer and Thatcher favourite "Lord" Norman Tebbit threw an epic wobbly.

First he tried to shut down the joyous ushering-in of the New Year of the Tiger being enjoyed by the locals by hurling himself into the crowd, sending them flying. Then he cleverly tried to silence the drums by putting his hands over one as it was being played with the inevitable result that the drummer kept playing and his hands took the brunt.

Even kids weren't safe as Tebbit "viciously" put the boot into the rear end of the dragon which happened to contain a child.

Shiver me chopsticks, Norm, I thought you liked dragons considering you worked with one for so long.

Luckily for him, Patrick Chung, the restaurant owner who organised the New Year celebrations, happens to be a Tory councillor.

Tebbit magnanimously said, "I forgave Mr Chung and will not be taking this any further."

Expect an ethnic-friendly selection sometime soon.

Kung hei fat choy and God bless us every one.

St Tebbit and the dragon: Tory kicks child at Chinese New Year

Bah, humbug! Is this to be a new tradition inaugurated by the Tories and implemented in Barking councils across the land?

Oblivious to the customs of swarthy interlopers and unaware that the noisy hordes near his house in Bury St Edmonds in Suffolk were celebrating Chinese New Year, Conservative peer and Thatcher favourite "Lord" Norman Tebbit threw an epic wobbly.

First he tried to shut down the joyous ushering-in of the New Year of the Tiger being enjoyed by the locals by hurling himself into the crowd, sending them flying. Then he cleverly tried to silence the drums by putting his hands over one as it was being played with the inevitable result that the drummer kept playing and his hands took the brunt.

Even kids weren't safe as Tebbit "viciously" put the boot into the rear end of the dragon which happened to contain a child.

Shiver me chopsticks, Norm, I thought you liked dragons considering you worked with one for so long.

Luckily for him, Patrick Chung, the restaurant owner who organised the New Year celebrations, happens to be a Tory councillor.

Tebbit magnanimously said, "I forgave Mr Chung and will not be taking this any further."

Expect an ethnic-friendly selection sometime soon.

Kung hei fat choy and God bless us every one.