HUGO mini review: a dramatic turkey with brass knobs on.

MINI REVIEW: Steampunk aesthetics and the history of cinema: what could go wrong?

I watched Martin Scorsese's Hugo last night and, although the visuals are stunning (I'd have loved to have seen this in 3D) the script was one of the worst things ever.

Snobby middle-class preciousness (the cute kids with Rank starlet accents nearly gave me diabetes) and dramatic ineptitude killed for me the story of one of the fathers of cinema, George Melies (Ben Kingsley). Sir Ben's muted appearance in the same film as Ray Winstone who played Hugo's evil drunken uncle had me longing for the last time I saw them paired up in Sexy Beast and wishing Melies would blurt Don's immortal line, "I'm sweating like a cunt". This would have given the lagubrious script a much-needed cheering up.

Two nights running I've seen Sasha Baron Cohen in iffy films (although this was still considerably better than The Dictator, a pale shadow of Borat and Bruno).

Reading the reviews and scanning the list of awards garnered (although not for veteran film editor Thelma Schoonmaker for clear reasons in my eyes), it appears that flattering the movierati guarantees good write-ups.

However, box office failure reveals the wisdom of audiences who stayed away in droves. A good yarn told well beats any amount of bells and whistles.

A dramatic turkey with brass knobs on.

The Hackney Tea Ceremony: Gary Lammin at The Steampunk Opium Wars

Gary Lammin is Master of Ceremonies in The Hackney Tea Ceremony, part of The Steampunk Opium Wars debut at the National Maritime Museum on 16th February 2012. With legendary radical theatre impressario Neil Hornick as Captain Ironside. Written by Anna Chen with additional material by Gary Lammin. Additional video by Jeff Willis.

The Steampunk Opium Wars pages:
The Steampunk Opium Wars Home Page
Afterview
The Company: who we are and how to find us.
Gallery: debut performance at the National Maritime Museum.
VIDEO: Lin Zexu Just Says No!
VIDEO: Britannia sings "Money"
What they said ...

Steampunk Opium Wars VIDEO: Deborah Evans-Stickland sings "Money"

The Steampunk Opium Wars. So what's it all about? Deborah Evans-Stickland as Britannia sings her Flying Lizards hit, "Money" (That's what I want).

Rule Britannia played by Charles Shaar Murray.

The Narrator: Anna Chen

Camera: Jeff Willis

Pictures here.

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The Steampunk Opium Wars pages:
The Steampunk Opium Wars Home Page
Afterview
The Company: who we are and how to find us.
Gallery: debut performance at the National Maritime Museum.
VIDEO: Lin Zexu Just Says No!
VIDEO: Britannia sings "Money"
What they said ...

Steampunk Opium Wars VIDEO: Lin Zexu Just Says No!

Here's the first extract from The Steampunk Opium Wars which debuted at the National Maritime Museum on Thursday.

The story so far ...

The East India Company has been growing mass-produced opium in Bengal and swamping China with the narcotic, turning an aristocratic vice into a mass addiction. The Emperor calls in Commissioner Lin Zexu to enforce the ban on opium and stop the British drug smuggling operation.

Song: "Lin Zexu Just Says No!"

With Hugo Trebels, Louise Whittle, Anna Chen, John Crow, Paul Anderson. Music from Charles Shaar Murray and Marc Jefferies. Video footage by Jeff Willis — additional material by Oliver Shykles. Lin Zexu portrait by Sukey Parnell. Show still by Jan Jefferies. Edited by Anna Chen.

Pictures here

The Steampunk Opium Wars pages:
The Steampunk Opium Wars Home Page
Afterview
The Company: who we are and how to find us.
Gallery: debut performance at the National Maritime Museum.
VIDEO: Lin Zexu Just Says No!
VIDEO: Britannia sings "Money"
What they said ...

The Steampunk Opium Wars extravaganza at the Greenwich National Maritime Museum 16th Feb 2012

Britain's craving for chinoiserie in the 18th and 19th centuries resulted in a trade imbalance that threatened to empty the treasury. To pay for the tea, silks, spices and porcelain we liked so much, the East India Company sold enormous quantities of cheap Bengal-grown opium to China, turning an aristocratic vice into a nationwide addiction.

The profits from the opium trade made fortunes, earned revenues for the British government, paid for the administration of the Empire in India and even financed a large slice of Royal Navy costs. When the Chinese tried to halt the import of the drug, the narco-capitalists persuaded Foreign Secretary Palmerston and Lord Melbourne's government to go to war in 1839. The first military conflict, lasting a bloody three years, resulted in the Treaty of Nanking and the transfer of territory including Hong Kong to British rule.

Want to find out more about this dark period in Anglo-Chinese history? To celebrate Chinese New Year and mark the opening of the National Maritime Museum's new Traders Gallery, I'm presenting The Steampunk Opium Wars extravaganza with songs poetry and music from legendary writer Charles Shaar Murray; The Plague's Marc "The Exorcist" Jefferies; Deborah Evans-Stickland performing her Flying Lizards mega-hit "Money (That's What I Want)"; Gary Lammin of The Bermondsey Joyriders; and DJ Zoe Baxter AKA Lucky Cat from Resonance FM.

Historical characters will be slugging it out in verse to persuade us of the pros and cons of waging war to push drugs: with John Crow Constable, Paul Anderson, Hugo Trebels, John Paul O'Neill and Louise Whittle.

The evening is centred around Farrago Poetry's History Slam where the audience will have a chance to write poetry on the theme in workshops led by the historical characters, and then perform them in the slam.

Come and play with us.

Free entry but places have to be booked in advance.

Anna Chen presents "Traders"
National Maritime Museum, Sammy Ofer Wing
Greenwich
6.30-10pm
Thursday 16th February 2012
Tickets: Free but book in advance
Tel: 020 8312 6608

The Steampunk Opium Wars Facebook and webpage

SU flags up the event here.