Here's a little something about Michael Gove I posted last year describing an actual event that took place a few years back in Grays Inn Road. BTW, it's true — teachers do need love, not Gove.
Sad-sack Education Minister Michael Gove helped himself to make-up belonging to an exotic lovely and made strange demands minutes before appearing before blonde Kirsty Young, 27, at ITN's studios in posh intellectuals' haunt, Grays Inn Road.
"It was when I was publicising The Best Democracy Money Can Buy", said buxom press-officer Anna Chen, 22, flicking her long tresses out of her almond eyes. Sultry beauty Chen said, "There I was in the Green Room, helping my mate Greg Palast not reflect the light from his very high forehead when Michael Gove, who was there for an 'interview' with our Kirsty, suddenly reached in and grabbed. He'd been coveting the contents of my little make-up bag with his pre-lasered eyeballs for ages. This was back in the day before he got his new hairdo and makeover."
Sinister Gove then asked her to "powder me down".
"Powder me down" is a well-known perverts' term for unspeakable televisual and filmic practices.
"So there I was, trying to beautify the most evil Education Minister this country would ever see like some champion fluffer. All my skills and photoshopping couldn't prettify this ugly little monster."
Ms Chen is deeply regretful. "It's like when they ask you, if you could go back in time and top Hitler before he came to power, what would you do? I wish I'd tattooed the pursed-lipped creep with 'I am a threat to your children' across his fugly mug. To have missed a chance like that is enough to turn you to drink," said the busty Ms Chen, pouring herself another quart of Absinthe with a trembling hand.
Ms Chen is 19.
3 comments:
Dear Anna,
Nice one. I think I'd need a quart of absinthe if I met Michael Gove! Are you two down in St Ives this week? I was there yesterday and Norway Square had to move indoors to the Arts Club. I've just put a video up on youtube which gives Gove a load of stick. It's called "The God of Data". It's a bit tinny and I cocked up the introduction a bit but a friend is trying to improve it and I'll re-post it. If you have any teacher friends please feel free to share. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQ3eASZNAoM
All the best, Rob Barratt
Hi Rob,
No, 'fraid we can't make it down and missing you lot very much.
Thanks for the link. I shall check out your Gove poem.
Best,
Anna
Just watched your video, Rob. Excellent stuff — funny, witty and timely. Over 1,700 views in less than a week is impressive. I bet all the teachers are passing it around.
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