Miaow now a drug as well as Madam's ace blog

Of all the things in the world and beyond that could be named after this blog's author, I never imagined it would be drugs. ("Oh yes you did," says Evil Self. "And you love it.")

"Miaow" is a plant food sold on the internet but newly discovered as having some sort of inebriant qualities. I've always wondered what flaming hoops early drug pioneers had to go through to find out that model plane adhesive, Benzadrex inhalers soaked in cola (doesn't work — just makes you puke, so I'm told) and now flower fertiliser can give you a high.

"Ooh, there's a pretty poppy seed pod. I wonder what happens if I slice it here and gather the sap ... and stick it into a vein."

"Just got to water the plants, love. Ah, sod the skunk, just nick their food."

The Telegraph says:

Apart from the euphoria and alertness it is said to induce anxiety, paranoia and a risk of fits.

Unlike Scotch, gin, vodka, rum, brandy which Telegraph journos all know is good for you, rejuvenates your liver, sweetens the breath and improves your mood the more you drink, Miaow kills you.

A scientist writes.

I wonder if I can get a sponsor.

Miaow now a drug as well as Madam's ace blog

Of all the things in the world and beyond that could be named after this blog's author, I never imagined it would be drugs. ("Oh yes you did," says Evil Self. "And you love it.")

"Miaow" is a plant food sold on the internet but newly discovered as having some sort of inebriant qualities. I've always wondered what flaming hoops early drug pioneers had to go through to find out that model plane adhesive, Benzadrex inhalers soaked in cola (doesn't work — just makes you puke, so I'm told) and now flower fertiliser can give you a high.

"Ooh, there's a pretty poppy seed pod. I wonder what happens if I slice it here and gather the sap ... and stick it into a vein."

"Just got to water the plants, love. Ah, sod the skunk, just nick their food."

The Telegraph says:

Apart from the euphoria and alertness it is said to induce anxiety, paranoia and a risk of fits.

Unlike Scotch, gin, vodka, rum, brandy which Telegraph journos all know is good for you, rejuvenates your liver, sweetens the breath and improves your mood the more you drink, Miaow kills you.

A scientist writes.

I wonder if I can get a sponsor.

Iraq war inquiry into Bomber Blair's role begins

Remember "Yo, Blair!"?

I was going to bring you video footage of a graphic novel launch on Sunday at the ICA where German comics star Reinhard Kleist brought out his first English language book, Johnny Cash: I See A Darkness, but battles with my new Final Cut Express 4 and a stupid new iMovie version which has no timeline means I won't get it edited until the weekend. I just want to mention the event was sponsored by Chivas Regal ... Oh my poor head.

Meanwhile, back at the funny farm ...

The Chilcot inquiry into the British role in the Iraq war gets under way today. There's an excellent minute-by-minute update by Andrew Sparrow at the Guardian of proceedings at the Queen Elizabeth II Conference Hall in Westminster. A tellingly bad opening established that there weren't enough seats for the relatives of dead soldiers, let alone all the press that needed access. Only ONE seat for the Guardian?

Sparrow reports this from Michael Howard on this morning's BBC Radio 4 Today programme:

Tony Blair told the House of Commons that the intelligence he received on weapons of mass destruction was 'detailed, extensive and authoritative'. What he had actually been told by the intelligence community was that the information they had was 'limited, sporadic and patchy'. He translated those words 'limited, sporadic and patchy' into 'detailed, extensive and authoritative' and ... that is a clear example of how he misled the House of Commons and the nation.

Pretty bloody damning.

And it looks as if Gordon Brown — a key member of Team Bomber Blair — will refuse to testify. This is our form of "Pleading the Fifth".

In the Daily Mail the other day, Peter Oborne wrote this powerful piece on Blair and why he was so desperate to get that EU Presidency job.

Tony Blair looks haunted, but with new claims that he was behind torture and war lies he's got a lot to be haunted by ... For the truth is that evidence continues to amass that, under the Blair premiership, the British state was responsible, at times, for some illegal actions which, on occasions, could be considered to be barbarism.

Precisely.

Tony Blair's World War Tour: Iraq 1998, Serbia 1999, Sierra Leone 2000, Afghanistan 2001, Iraq 2003

Former British diplomat Craig Murray on the first day of the Chilcot inquiry.

See also Madam Miaow on President Blair: The Great Escape

Iraq war inquiry into Bomber Blair's role begins

Remember "Yo, Blair!"?

I was going to bring you video footage of a graphic novel launch on Sunday at the ICA where German comics star Reinhard Kleist brought out his first English language book, Johnny Cash: I See A Darkness, but battles with my new Final Cut Express 4 and a stupid new iMovie version which has no timeline means I won't get it edited until the weekend. I just want to mention the event was sponsored by Chivas Regal ... Oh my poor head.

Meanwhile, back at the funny farm ...

The Chilcot inquiry into the British role in the Iraq war gets under way today. There's an excellent minute-by-minute update by Andrew Sparrow at the Guardian of proceedings at the Queen Elizabeth II Conference Hall in Westminster. A tellingly bad opening established that there weren't enough seats for the relatives of dead soldiers, let alone all the press that needed access. Only ONE seat for the Guardian?

Sparrow reports this from Michael Howard on this morning's BBC Radio 4 Today programme:

Tony Blair told the House of Commons that the intelligence he received on weapons of mass destruction was 'detailed, extensive and authoritative'. What he had actually been told by the intelligence community was that the information they had was 'limited, sporadic and patchy'. He translated those words 'limited, sporadic and patchy' into 'detailed, extensive and authoritative' and ... that is a clear example of how he misled the House of Commons and the nation.

Pretty bloody damning.

And it looks as if Gordon Brown — a key member of Team Bomber Blair — will refuse to testify. This is our form of "Pleading the Fifth".

In the Daily Mail the other day, Peter Oborne wrote this powerful piece on Blair and why he was so desperate to get that EU Presidency job.

Tony Blair looks haunted, but with new claims that he was behind torture and war lies he's got a lot to be haunted by ... For the truth is that evidence continues to amass that, under the Blair premiership, the British state was responsible, at times, for some illegal actions which, on occasions, could be considered to be barbarism.

Precisely.

Tony Blair's World War Tour: Iraq 1998, Serbia 1999, Sierra Leone 2000, Afghanistan 2001, Iraq 2003

Former British diplomat Craig Murray on the first day of the Chilcot inquiry.

See also Madam Miaow on President Blair: The Great Escape

Peru's Tyler Durden harvests human fat for European cosmetics

Waiter, there's a tramp in my soap. Oh, what price will we pay for beauty?

I read gruesome news from Peru where a team of serial killers, who probably smoked too much crack while watching Fight Club, have nicked (or influenced) Tyler Durden's macabre business plan, harvested the fat from scores of victims over the past  30 years, and sold it to the European cosmetics industry. Oh, yes, the victims had to be dead in order to extract every bit of fatty goodness from their cadavers.

And so capitalism crawls into its final decrepit stage where it's gone gaga as well as sclerotic. In Fight Club, Chuck Pahlaniuk's magnum opus, Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) finances his bid to bring down the whole sorry edifice by stealing liposuction fat from cosmetic surgeries. Not only the finest fat there is, but also one of the finest metaphors for what capitalism is doing to us.

"We're taking their own fat and selling it back to them," he gloats — posh hand-made soaps that he supplies to department store beauty counters at the silly prices silly women will pay.

The authorities have arrested the perps but are still seeking the middle-men who bought the fat off them.

So I cast a sharp eye over the rows of oils and unguents cluttering my vanity shelves and ask myself — who's in this?  Puh-leaze don't let it be the Clarins ...

Peru's Tyler Durden harvests human fat for European cosmetics

Waiter, there's a tramp in my soap. Oh, what price will we pay for beauty?

I read gruesome news from Peru where a team of serial killers, who probably smoked too much crack while watching Fight Club, have nicked (or influenced) Tyler Durden's macabre business plan, harvested the fat from scores of victims over the past  30 years, and sold it to the European cosmetics industry. Oh, yes, the victims had to be dead in order to extract every bit of fatty goodness from their cadavers.

And so capitalism crawls into its final decrepit stage where it's gone gaga as well as sclerotic. In Fight Club, Chuck Pahlaniuk's magnum opus, Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) finances his bid to bring down the whole sorry edifice by stealing liposuction fat from cosmetic surgeries. Not only the finest fat there is, but also one of the finest metaphors for what capitalism is doing to us.

"We're taking their own fat and selling it back to them," he gloats — posh hand-made soaps that he supplies to department store beauty counters at the silly prices silly women will pay.

The authorities have arrested the perps but are still seeking the middle-men who bought the fat off them.

So I cast a sharp eye over the rows of oils and unguents cluttering my vanity shelves and ask myself — who's in this?  Puh-leaze don't let it be the Clarins ...