Bon profit — tonight I should be eating Denise's paella (above) instead of engaging in radio verbals with the terminally ambitious
Yes, the "Genocide Olympics". That's what the latest bandwagon-jumper, Edward McMillan-Scott (Tory MEP and European Parliament Vice President), busy climbing up the greasy pole and endeavoring to make a name for himself, has decided to call this month's sporting excitement.
"We Should Shun Beijing Olympics in the Land of Genocide", he says, with his full understanding of the Holocaust on display. "But there is still genocide inside China. Hundreds of thousands are in 'administrative detention'." Tell that to the survivors or my mates who lost their families in the real Holocaust.
"China’s economic boom is causing massive environmental degradation. The air in Beijing is appalling.”. And this coming from a native of a country that's been pumping carbon into the atmosphere for how long?!! And can't even meet its Kyoto promises.
Here I am, spending a lovely restful Sunday with my oldest mate, Denise, and I have to be on BBC Radio 5 Live's Stephen Nolan programme between 22:00 and 22:30 tonight in order to counter lightweight morons bashing up the Chinese — AGAIN! And I have to stay sober. Two more reasons why this Bruce Banner may well be hulking out by the time we're on air. (You can listen again for seven days.)
Oh, and did I mention Nick Clegg? Demanding Gordon Brown boycott the Olympics. Boycott yourselves in 2012, warmongering jerks with a million dead Iraqis on your lily-whites and the prospect of a nuclear strike on Iran. Why aren't you dragging that grinning monster Tony Blair, the only person who could have been a more convincing Joker than Heath Ledger, into The Hague alongside Radovan Karadic? Taking $2 million a year from JP Morgan, a US bank making money from the war that their new talent started?!! What is UP with people? Are you guys NUTS?!!!!
If I may quote myself (rather than simply repeat myself) from Wreath Lecture which I wrote in June:
Coz this is the country of Magna Carta
The authorities here are growing stronger.
The Meaning of Life is 42
42 days detention without charge
42 days of your life writ large
42 days without a home
42 days because politicians lost their back bone.
Rendition to a torture zone
Your wife and your kids don’t know where you’ve gone
Guilty until proved innocent
Where sucking your teeth while black is an arrestable offence
A copper scrutinising every email you ever sent
Gotta fuck for food, steal for rent
Freedom of speech? What a cheek!
Satan could sue the bible for libel
Get a million pound payoff and a House of Lords title.
DNA records, CCTVs,
Media frenzied heeby-jeebies,
Asbo-land, tapping phones,
Booming business, crippling loans
For school fees in the land of the free
Hey, why you picking on the Chinese
It’s not us starting World War Three
You’ll free this land?
Iran, Iraq, I scrammed.
BTW, Denise's tiramisu is bursting with alcoholic goodness and I feel overstuffed like a turkey. Must ... get ... in ... shape ... for ... radio ...