Iris Robinson cougar queen: What would Jesus say?

Jesus would tell you this, hun. Nil desperandum, Iris Robinson: deposed, reviled, shamed former First Lady of the Irish Assembly. Your career in politics may be over but, you know what? You are a star. What is politics anyways? Showbiz for ugly people and you have the looks if not the nouse and the principles. That's for the birds. You are a COUGAR, baybeh, and no mistake.

Banter at Splinty's has yielded a fab plan. Don't slit your wrists when you could head for Tinseltown and leave the stiffs in your wake. Harry, Splinty and I will be your agents, advisors, whatever, and knock you into shape.

Get yourself a PR (anyone got Max's mobile?), a placcy surgery job, which I'm sure your, ahem, business acquaintances can front for you like they always do. Puff out those thin mean lips with collagen and get some warmth into those pitiless blanks and you're away. Maybe there's a community fund somewhere that might loan you the air-fare outta town to save them the trouble of sharpening the pitchforks and firing up the torches or whatever it is they do over there. But try to steer clear of the ducking stool in these chilly climes even if it does tighten the wattles and closes the pores a treat.

You won't be the first politicians to make this trek. And you won't be the last. Not with Tommy Sheridan waiting in the wings.

Hollywood is yours for the taking. La-La-Land doesn't do shame. They love sinners who repent and they eat hypocrisy off a stick. But you may have to shut up about gays. Have your pic taken with RuPaul. Open up a gay bar or sumthin'. Ask that nice Kirk to help out — he knows about catering and I hear he's going down a storm.

Right-wing Christian shock-jocks will welcome you to their bosom and I'm sure that'll be reciprocal. Have a chat to St Stephen Baldwin when he's evicted from the Celebrity Big Brother House. Soon. A sixty-year WOMAN old schtupping a 19-year-old MAN? A 19-year-old whose nappies you might have changed? Did you take tips from Hefner? (Maybe he shoulda told you the one about not chucking stones in glass abodes, or was it casting the first stone when you are stoned yourself which I will never do as I am all green-eyed and looking forward to trying this out myself.) Way to go, Iris. Kudos. You are the Queen of Cougars. You got it made.

Iris Robinson cougar queen: What would Jesus say?

Jesus would tell you this, hun. Nil desperandum, Iris Robinson: deposed, reviled, shamed former First Lady of the Irish Assembly. Your career in politics may be over but, you know what? You are a star. What is politics anyways? Showbiz for ugly people and you have the looks if not the nouse and the principles. That's for the birds. You are a COUGAR, baybeh, and no mistake.

Banter at Splinty's has yielded a fab plan. Don't slit your wrists when you could head for Tinseltown and leave the stiffs in your wake. Harry, Splinty and I will be your agents, advisors, whatever, and knock you into shape.

Get yourself a PR (anyone got Max's mobile?), a placcy surgery job, which I'm sure your, ahem, business acquaintances can front for you like they always do. Puff out those thin mean lips with collagen and get some warmth into those pitiless blanks and you're away. Maybe there's a community fund somewhere that might loan you the air-fare outta town to save them the trouble of sharpening the pitchforks and firing up the torches or whatever it is they do over there. But try to steer clear of the ducking stool in these chilly climes even if it does tighten the wattles and closes the pores a treat.

You won't be the first politicians to make this trek. And you won't be the last. Not with Tommy Sheridan waiting in the wings.

Hollywood is yours for the taking. La-La-Land doesn't do shame. They love sinners who repent and they eat hypocrisy off a stick. But you may have to shut up about gays. Have your pic taken with RuPaul. Open up a gay bar or sumthin'. Ask that nice Kirk to help out — he knows about catering and I hear he's going down a storm.

Right-wing Christian shock-jocks will welcome you to their bosom and I'm sure that'll be reciprocal. Have a chat to St Stephen Baldwin when he's evicted from the Celebrity Big Brother House. Soon. A sixty-year WOMAN old schtupping a 19-year-old MAN? A 19-year-old whose nappies you might have changed? Did you take tips from Hefner? (Maybe he shoulda told you the one about not chucking stones in glass abodes, or was it casting the first stone when you are stoned yourself which I will never do as I am all green-eyed and looking forward to trying this out myself.) Way to go, Iris. Kudos. You are the Queen of Cougars. You got it made.

Priscilla, Queen of the Desert reviews: homophobia bad, racist misogyny invisible

Okay! The London reviews for Priscilla, Queen of the Desert — The Musical are now in and the suspense is killing me like a pair of six-inch stilettoes stabbed into my cranium. Has anyone noticed the misogyny? Does anyone care that east asians are dissed in a way that would have the blogosphere yelling "homophobia" had it been gays who were the hate figures? Are frocks and Abba the new bread and circuses? Will the producers fuck for spangles?

Beginning with one reaction to the original Oz stage production, The Age euphemises the "genitally precocious mail-order bride".

Michael Billington on the London production in The Guardian dismisses the "synthetic spectacle" and misses the point: "... it is gaudy, garish and loud and seems to be as much about costumes as content."

Nicholas de Jong gushes over "this bitter-sweet, big-hit musical, that stands up for brave sexual outsiders" in the Evening Standard. Yeah. Right on, sistah! "... Priscilla offers a joyful antidote to a world of hatred and violence." Not if you're an East Asian woman, it doesn't.

Michael Coveney in The Independent says simply, "It sort of stinks."

Benedict Nightingale waxes blah in The Times

Charles Spencer in The Telegraph writes, "It makes Mamma Mia! seem like something by Chekhov." He says this approvingly. Given my recent experience with the National Theatre's Burnt By The Sun, I reckon he may have a point.

Priscilla, Queen of the Desert reviews: homophobia bad, racist misogyny invisible

Okay! The London reviews for Priscilla, Queen of the Desert — The Musical are now in and the suspense is killing me like a pair of six-inch stilettoes stabbed into my cranium. Has anyone noticed the misogyny? Does anyone care that east asians are dissed in a way that would have the blogosphere yelling "homophobia" had it been gays who were the hate figures? Are frocks and Abba the new bread and circuses? Will the producers fuck for spangles?

Beginning with one reaction to the original Oz stage production, The Age euphemises the "genitally precocious mail-order bride".

Michael Billington on the London production in The Guardian dismisses the "synthetic spectacle" and misses the point: "... it is gaudy, garish and loud and seems to be as much about costumes as content."

Nicholas de Jong gushes over "this bitter-sweet, big-hit musical, that stands up for brave sexual outsiders" in the Evening Standard. Yeah. Right on, sistah! "... Priscilla offers a joyful antidote to a world of hatred and violence." Not if you're an East Asian woman, it doesn't.

Michael Coveney in The Independent says simply, "It sort of stinks."

Benedict Nightingale waxes blah in The Times

Charles Spencer in The Telegraph writes, "It makes Mamma Mia! seem like something by Chekhov." He says this approvingly. Given my recent experience with the National Theatre's Burnt By The Sun, I reckon he may have a point.

When wise monkeys rule ...

In my own naive way, I like to think that lefties can think and chew gum at the same time, whatever the evidence to the contrary. Right now that means opposing another bloody fiasco in the middle east in the form of an attack on Iran AND having the capacity to criticise the revolting practices in that country.

Yet, with the ratcheting up of the west's war machine, suddenly we've gone deaf, dumb and blind to the actual suffering in Iran. Homophobic persecution of gays is wrong in any society with a claim to civilisation. Hanging kids for sexuality expressed before they're out of puberty is straight out of a horror film. Violent hatred of women is well creepy. But mention these and you run the gauntlet of furious lefties screeching, "Move along. Nothing to see." (See an example here. And here.)

Surely, any warmonger who can use criticism of the Iran regime to make a case for yet another armed conflict is clearly barking and should be argued with on principled terms, not terms dictated by them in a deformed debate.

There's a tendency on the left to focus on The Big Picture and ignore the nuts and bolts of human misery, preferring the rarified atmosphere of their mountain-top Theoryland from where they can hand down The Knowledge to the rest of poor deluded fools. I have my suspicions that for some, revolution in the head is easier to cope with than change on the ground. I favour both.

We've all seen the lefties who love the masses but hate the actual flesh 'n' blood people in the masses (or even the poor grunts in their own organisations). They'll make the most piteous noises of solidarity with the oppressed in the abstract but ignore it when it happens to real people under their own noses. They will even abandon their own stated objectives of republicanism, secularism, working class socialism, open borders, abortion, gay rights, etc, when it suits them.

The trouble with the half-smart white middle-class boys (mostly) running the left and dominating the net is that their experience is drawn from a very small pool. Wade through their thoughts and you wouldn't get your ankles wet. Like the frogs in the well, they look up and see the circle of sky and declare it to be the entire world. Anyone contradicting that view has to be crushed using a variety of sleight-of-hand methods including diversion, smoke and mirrors, vilification, anything but dealing with the issues in a productive way that reflects the supposition that we are all on the same side.

The first rule of the bureaucrat; protect the system. The second law of the bureaucrat ... (yeah, we know.)

I think we should remember why we are lefties in the first place. The system has to serve humans, not the other way round. Some people have forgotten that.

When wise monkeys rule ...

In my own naive way, I like to think that lefties can think and chew gum at the same time, whatever the evidence to the contrary. Right now that means opposing another bloody fiasco in the middle east in the form of an attack on Iran AND having the capacity to criticise the revolting practices in that country.

Yet, with the ratcheting up of the west's war machine, suddenly we've gone deaf, dumb and blind to the actual suffering in Iran. Homophobic persecution of gays is wrong in any society with a claim to civilisation. Hanging kids for sexuality expressed before they're out of puberty is straight out of a horror film. Violent hatred of women is well creepy. But mention these and you run the gauntlet of furious lefties screeching, "Move along. Nothing to see." (See an example here. And here.)

Surely, any warmonger who can use criticism of the Iran regime to make a case for yet another armed conflict is clearly barking and should be argued with on principled terms, not terms dictated by them in a deformed debate.

There's a tendency on the left to focus on The Big Picture and ignore the nuts and bolts of human misery, preferring the rarified atmosphere of their mountain-top Theoryland from where they can hand down The Knowledge to the rest of poor deluded fools. I have my suspicions that for some, revolution in the head is easier to cope with than change on the ground. I favour both.

We've all seen the lefties who love the masses but hate the actual flesh 'n' blood people in the masses (or even the poor grunts in their own organisations). They'll make the most piteous noises of solidarity with the oppressed in the abstract but ignore it when it happens to real people under their own noses. They will even abandon their own stated objectives of republicanism, secularism, working class socialism, open borders, abortion, gay rights, etc, when it suits them.

The trouble with the half-smart white middle-class boys (mostly) running the left and dominating the net is that their experience is drawn from a very small pool. Wade through their thoughts and you wouldn't get your ankles wet. Like the frogs in the well, they look up and see the circle of sky and declare it to be the entire world. Anyone contradicting that view has to be crushed using a variety of sleight-of-hand methods including diversion, smoke and mirrors, vilification, anything but dealing with the issues in a productive way that reflects the supposition that we are all on the same side.

The first rule of the bureaucrat; protect the system. The second law of the bureaucrat ... (yeah, we know.)

I think we should remember why we are lefties in the first place. The system has to serve humans, not the other way round. Some people have forgotten that.