Thursday, 6 February 2014

Letter to Wendi Deng: Tony Blair - what were you thinking?



Wednesday 5th February 2014

Dear Wendi, Uncle Mao says get thee back to the Beijing Academy for Lady Spooks coz it's not just the wrong end of the stick you're grabbing … We had a whole module on HOW NOT TO TURN INTO NINOTCHKA but you missed that session coz you had your botox appointment. OK, so I got the fuzzy end of the lollipop and stepped in some British far left but now that I've scraped it off, we'd better get some results before the motherland hits Number One spot in the fiscal hit parade, which if I'm any judge of horseflesh, should be here in a couple of minutes. http://www.vanityfair.com/society/2014/03/wendi-deng-note-tony-blair


Thursday 6th February 2014

OK, Wendi, you scamp. You've gone and done it now. In the belly of the beast, Mordor itself, and you forget the CCTV? And the staff? And the security squad? What were you, drunk on Tone's pheromones? So now the whole world thinks you "fed" Tony at Rupe's own table (Module No 6 at the Beijing Academy for Lady Spooks, if memory serves me right — was it the old strawberry in the chocolate fountain number?), and that he followed you to your bedroom - led by the short and curlies, no doubt. (I definitely prefer our long and silkies to caucasian kinkies, but each to their own).

Will you please hurry up and come home? I will be in the jet … yes, THAT jet with the engine running. Uncle Mao says I should leave the jet in the hangar with the engine running and you in it but I told him not to despair. Re-education is a marvellous thing even if you won't appreciate it for the first year and a bit. Bring a book. (And, yes, the Sideshow Bob escapades at the Old Bailey are sidesplittingly hilarious. Charlie's mags, huh? Who does Sideshow think she's fooling in her cute Peter Pan collar. Wash that image out of your eyes if you can.)
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2552140/Sexy-legs-piercing-blue-eyes-Wendi-Dengs-explosive-note-Tony-Blair-revealed-magazine-marriage-Rupert-Murdoch-collapsed-amid-rumours-crush-former-prime-minister.html

Ed Vaizey responds to British East Asian Artists open letter on cultural inclusion


Ed Vaizey responds to British East Asian Artists open letter.

The BEAA writes:

Some of you may have seen yesterday an open letter from British East Asian Artists (BEAA) to the Minister For Culture, Ed Vaizey. The letter was in response to Mr. Vaizey’s recent roundtable discussions with leading black actors and industry heads about the lack of opportunities for “Black & Asian” actors in the UK.

We wrote because it’s simply too easy for us, the “third minority”, to be overlooked and ignored.

Today we received this from Mr. Vaizey’s office –

“Excellent points – thank you. Will include you in my thinking and invite you to my next round table”

Harriet Harman, the Labour Shadow Culture Secretary is also keen to meet with us.

We would like to take this opportunity to thank all those who shared, tweeted and supported the open letter yesterday. When more of us speak up we are a powerful voice. Let’s not think of ourselves as the “smallest ethnic group”. Let’s think of ourselves as the third largest and fastest growing.

It’s extremely heartening to see more and more of us moving away from that “silent model minority” stereotype which will only ever renders us irrelevant and invisible.

If you want to be heard In modern Britain, you have to (in the immortal words of the Beastie Boys), “fight for your right to party”.

Let’s continue doing so.

Press pick up on the BEAA letter to Ed Vaizey.

Wednesday, 5 February 2014

British East Asian Artists open letter to Ed Vaizey and broadcaster on racial exclusion in the culture


An open letter to Ed Vaizey and heads of broadcasting from the British East Asian Artists group.

We read with interest that the UK Minister for Culture, Communications and Creative Industries, The Right Honourable Mr. Ed Vaizey, has expressed concern about the number of black actors who are abandoning Britain for America because of lack of opportunities here. We welcome the concern that Mr. Vaizey and the media at large have expressed on this issue recently. We also welcome his determination to make meaningful changes in this area. In our opinion such an initiative is long overdue.

However we hope that these concerns and efforts will include all minority ethnic groups and not just the catch-all “Black & Asian”. As a group that fights the cause of British East Asian theatre and screen workers, we would like all parties to keep at the forefront of their mind that Asia continues east of India and that East Asia (particularly the East Asian “diaspora”) is not just “Chinese” and “Japanese”.

East Asians are the third largest minority ethnic group in Britain today. We are also the fastest growing and arguably the most diverse.

This is simply not reflected on our stages and screens at present and never has been.

China, Malaysia, Hong Kong and Thailand are among the top ten senders of international students to the UK, which by the government’s own statistics contributed 75% of the UK’s total education export income worth £17.5 billion in 2011. British East Asians contribute much to the economy and general make-up of the modern United Kingdom and to be continually ignored and passed over in this way is surely unacceptable.

As said, we welcome the ministerial and media concern about black actors which is no doubt largely as a result of the recent success of Chiwetel Ejiofor and Idris Elba.

Let us remember though, that, despite the lack of challenging opportunities, both Chiwetel and Idris had successful enough careers here to enable them to start up in the US.

No such opportunities (barring literally one or two “tokens”) are afforded East Asians in Britain. Recent successful “China plays” aside, East Asians are not seen in our popular media.

In 30 years, except for one Chinese DVD seller who lasted barely three months, the popular soap opera Eastenders has never featured any recurring East Asian characters whatsoever.

The hospital dramas, Casualty and Holby City, have featured only three young East Asian regular characters each despite the high number of (diverse) East Asians working in our health service. Coronation Street, set around Manchester with its long-established Chinatown, has featured only one East Asian character (a female Chinese immigrant) in its entire history.

East Asian males are rarely seen on our screens and mixed-race East Asians are particularly rare, not fitting the generic “Chinese/Japanese” stereotype. When East Asians are featured they are nearly always heavily accented, the women passive and submissive, the men brutish, asexual and devoid of any individualistic character. East Asians are, more often than any other minority ethnic group, rarely seen as indigenous.

In discussions around equal opportunities and social inclusion we therefore urge all parties to consider the full extent of Britain’s multicultural make-up. On our part, we feel that East Asians have been seen as the “model minority” for too long. High-achieving, silent and largely invisible. We feel this needs to change now.

Signed:

Anna Chen
Hi Ching
Dr. Broderick Chow
Kathryn Golding
Paul Hyu
Michelle Lee
Chowee Leow
Jennifer Lim
Dr. Amanda Rogers
Lucy Sheen
Dr. Diana Yeh
Daniel York

About British East Asian Artists

British East Asian Artists (BEAA) is a pressure group comprising actors, performers, writers, film-makers and academics who came together during the controversy over the Royal Shakespeare Company’s casting of the Chinese classic The Orphan Of Zhao with just three actors of East Asian descent in a cast of seventeen with all three in roles described by critics as “minor”. The social media protest initiated went global and resulted in the Arts Council and Equity sponsoring the Opening The Door To East Asians In The Theatre event last February 11th 2013. BEAA’s objectives are to raise the profile of East Asians working in theatre, film and TV and to enable people of East Asian descent to make, and have access to, performing arts work.

Chronology of the RSC Orphan of Zhao campaign ("Zhaogate")": http://madammiaow.blogspot.co.uk/p/rsc-orphan-of-zhao.html

Press pick up on the BEAA letter to Ed Vaizey.

britisheastaa.wix.com/beaactors

www.facebook.com/BEAArtists Twitter @BEAsianArtists

Friday, 31 January 2014

Happy Chinese New Year of the Horse: and a poem about panda sex


Last night I won the annual Farrago Poetry Zoo Award for Best Performance by a London Poet for 2013. Held at the RADA Café in Malet Street, the Farrago poetry events are supportive and inclusive, not to mention exciting, showcases for some very hot new talent. Thank you to everyone who voted for me. What a great way to see in the Chinese New Year of the Horse.

I read my new poem, "Chi Chi's Glorious Swansong" about panda sex (video below), and "Credit Crunch Suicide", a short poem about the bankers, that I'd debuted the night before, at the Oxford and Cambridge Club for Chinese New Year.



Charles Shaar Murray won Best Fiction Reading for his first novel The Hellhound Sample, from which he read an extract at the Farrago Fiction Slam and workshop at the Poetry Café in Covent Garden.

Congratulations to everyone who performed last night — what an awesome bunch of talent. Jason Pilley is an outstandingly original presence who deservedly won Best Overall Performance; Anna Khan has really nailed her performance with the most beautiful jazz voice in service to her poetry; and Sean Wai Keung won Best Debut Performance with his drily witty yet touching personal voice.

Thanks to John Paul O'Neill for putting on a great event that's so inclusive. Over 60 poets were nominated for last night's awards.


My first collection of poetry, Reaching for my Gnu, is still available as an e-book and a paperback.

Here's a poem wot I just wrote:

The Year of the Horse

May you never find pony in your boloney.
May you only find ham in your spam.
We could all afford steak, if only
The government gave half a damn.

Kung hei fat choi!
xxx




Wednesday, 29 January 2014

SWP splinter in new sex storm: never mind social and economic relations, here comes mighty whitey with the horn



I'm sure the first thing we all thought when we saw the photo of Dasha Zhukova Abramovich and the bondage chair was: ooh, hot BDSM.

My own race play consists of me as Kato doing a kung fu leap on Loved One as Inspector Clouseau, and then yelling at him in some guttural language that may be cod Chinese or just cod landed in Newfoundland.

Sometimes we reverse roles but I am not very good at being a clowning buffoon. There are some things men do better — I'm sorry, gurls, but let's just face the ugly truth on that one.

At other times I pretend I am the leader of the vanguard party addressing the millions (played by Loved One) and shout at him in long words that he can't understand or some such egregious polysyllabic sesquipedalian bumsuckery sublimating my drive for white supremacy that I must codify to render invisible the underlying hierarchy or it will make my friends' heads go pop.

Then there are the times we play Wendi and Rupe. He complains because we have to roll around on Monopoly money and old pesetas from holidays we can no longer afford.

I'm thinking of bringing the Opium Wars into our race play, and do opium while he sails a gunboat up my Yangtze. (Will poppy-seed cake do?)

Never mind the social and economic relations — here comes mighty whitey and he's got the horn.

Friday, 3 January 2014

The forced repatriation of Chinese seaman from post-war Liverpool: my column for the South China Morning Post

Photo: Pak Hung Chan

In 2007 I made a ten-part series for BBC Radio 4 called Chinese In Britain. Along with my wonderful producer Mukti Jain Campion at Culture Wise, we covered hitherto largely unknown issues and events such as the forced repatriation by the Attlee government of Chinese seamen who'd risked their lives keeping Britain's merchant navy running in World War II.

Last year, Moira Kenny at Soundagents helped organise a commemorative plaque on the site of the Blue Funnel offices in Liverpool. My South China Morning Post column on the subject:

"Keep my funnels tall and blue and look after my China men". So reads the quote from Victorian magnate Alfred Holt on the newly erected plaque outside the former Blue Funnel shipping office (now the New Capital Chinese restaurant) on Nelson Street, in Liverpool's Chinatown. 
It has taken more than 60 years but at last the thousands of Chinese mariners who worked for the company are being remembered. The plaque's blue denotes a historical marker and Holt's "China men" wrote their own chapter in Britain's seafaring tradition - only to be shamefully cast away in the aftermath of its "finest hour". 
For too long their experience constituted an episode the British authorities seemed to want to forget. Thousands of men sailed from Shanghai and Canton to Britain in the years following the Blue Funnel Line's establishment, in 1866. For decades it was Britain's main trading conduit with China - and by the second world war, some 15,000 to 20,000 Chinese sailors had made Liverpool their home. ...

READ MORE HERE

Also, read Don Flynn at Migrants' Rights

Chinese coolies on the Western Front in World War I.

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