Why cats need collars and bells: poem by Barbara Finch

You've had cat gifs galore. Here's a cat poem from my animal-loving friend Barbara Finch — a tale of the bird-murdering Nefertiti.


Nefertiti Puss
Oh God made creatures great and small
And Nefertiti kills them all.
Bad Nefertiti Puss.

That bird you see upon the wing,
It dare not part its beak to sing
For fear that down on it will bring
Fierce Nefertiti Puss.

And when she pounces, claws aglitter,
Upon a lizard or some critter,
It will not even know what bit her
Was Nefertiti Puss.

Her fur and whiskers she does preen
And then she purrs just like the queen
She is, or thinks she should’ve been.
Oh Nefertiti Puss!

And when the cat flap bursts asunder
And in stalks Nef, her face like thunder,
And growls and threatens at your feet,
A bowl of salmon works a treat
On Nefertiti Puss.

When a canine comes to visit,
Nef, on a table so exquisite,
With only slightly ruffled fur
Stares down with ease the quaking cur.
Brave Nefertiti Puss!

When, in the evening, mollified
She deigns to sit down by your side
And, purring as she licks your arm,
You know she really means no harm.
Sweet Nefertiti Puss!

Barbara Finch
September 2013